The funniest thing happened to me today (it was actually last night, but blogspot went down)! I was enthralled in reading my new book on the train, the Carrie diaries summer and the city by Candice Bushnell, and I accidentally missed my stop. Totally didn’t realise it. I thought we were a good 15 minutes from my stop. So I got of the train and walked to the other side so that I could get a train back, which luckily I only had to wait 4 minutes for.
So I get on the train and notice a total bogan staring at me. Of course he initiated conversation and his second question was to ask me how old I was. “25” I replied he seemed quite surprised so I asked him how old he thought I was. He gave a very diplomatic answer saying that he thought that I looked very young but also acted mature so he wasn’t sure. So I asked him how old he was...17!!!!! I got hit on by a SEVENTEEN year old! a teenager. Someone who is 8 years younger than me. I was 8 when he was born! Since I was taking an interest in his age he decided to try his luck and continued to talk to me, but I pretended that I was sending a message (I was, to my brother telling him a 17 year old had just tried to pick me up). And he was ugly and missing teeth and boganese seemed to be his native language. Plus he was on his way to getting drunk. My last record was 4 years and that was when I was 20, he was 16. I don’t understand why they persist after they realise how old I am. I feel like saying to them, ‘ OK you can stop now KIDDO’.
Anyway on that note I thought I should share with you some of my secrets to staying young
- Don’t wear heavy or tarty makeup. Makes you look like an old tart. You will probably get chatted up, but only because they think you are an easy target.
- Don’t smoke. it gives you wrinkles and is an expensive and unattractive habit. My sister told me she would beat me up if she ever caught me smoking. And you will get a ‘cat’s bum’ mouth (if you don’t understand what I mean, next time you see a cat have a look at it’s bum) from pursing your lips.
- Don’t drink. Also gives you wrinkles. And loads your body up with unnecessary toxins. Once in a blue moon is OK though. A girls got to have her fun.
- Get lots of sleep. ‘It’s not called beauty sleep for nothin’ I love my sleep and nanna naps. Nanna naps are what keeps me young. Ironic, non?
- Eat healthy and drink lots of water. People keep on telling me this and I’m sure they are correct. And maybe sometime soon in the future I will actually start eating properly and drink lots of water. Although having my special tumbler from glitzy glam has improved my H2O intake. Because its so cute, I take it everywhere.
- Moisturise and take care of your skin!! My old housemate saw a picture of me and my sister and asked if that was my mum. Sadly I have to agree with her, she is starting to look a bit old, not exactly 31 years older than me, but her skin is neglected. I think she just washes her face with soap, and only moisturises when she can be bothered.
- Wear SPF, don’t get sunburnt and don’t tan. One of my old teachers had skin like a leather handbag. Bout the same colour, and definitely the same texture. It prematurely ages you, and can cause other problems like skin cancer. I know I’m a theatre nurse. We excise a lot of skin cancers.